Medical Patient Modesty - a non-profit organization to improve patient modesty in medical settings

 
 
 
     
Patient Testimonials
     
 
If you have a testimonial about how Medical Patient Modesty has helped you, please consider submitting a testimonial.
 


I was asked to give a testimonial by Ms Roberts. After reading Medical Patient Modesty's web site I realized that others shared my concerns. I learned that being forthright with medical personnel was desirable. I also found at the site a great modesty enhancer - backwards boxers. What follows demonstrates what is possible with a bit of effort.

I kept telling the GP that I try to see as infrequently as possible that I wasn’t interested in a colonoscopy due to childhood sexual molestation and abuse issues. Having my best interests at heart he offered to refer me to his gastroenterologist and to explain to him my personal situation. I made an appointment with the gastroenterologist and, at the initial interview with him, I indicated that I wished no sedation and asked to have male attendants and to be able to wear boxers backwards (ala Med Pat Mod). He was concerned about no-sedation, mentioning that he usually had only one per year. He, nonetheless, agreed to no-sedation. My referring doctor had already spoken to him about my privacy issues therefore, the male attendants were expected and made available. He, the gastroenterologist, looked puzzled by the boxer request but, again agreed. With almost 30 years of experience, I don’t think he’d be surprised by much. The colonoscopy went exactly as planned and I was delighted. The referring physician was Dr. G. Scott Smith, Orange, CA. The gastroenterologist was Dr. Jose Roque, Orange, CA. The facility was St. Joseph’s Hospital Endoscopy Center, Orange, CA. I am deeply indebted to all of the above for extraordinary care and concern. May God bless them, their families and their endeavors.

My suggestions for others are as follows: 1. Discuss your wishes with your doctors. Be courtesy but, firm. As long as you don’t ask for outlandish or unsafe practices, a good doctor will try to make you happy. If necessary, indicate that you will praise their adaptability to all your acquaintances. Tell them that your requests will add some novelty to their practice. DON’T BE ADVERSARIAL! I do believe that honey works better than vinegar. Convincing a doctor to see things your way is far superior to perpetual “shopping” for someone that you can pummel into submission. Yes, it’s a business however, most good medical personnel have their patients’ interests foremost. 2. Have a “Conditions for my Colonoscopy”(or other procedure) letter ready at the check-in facility. Outline under what conditions you will continue with the procedure. The medical profession has a HORRIBLE INFORMATION TRANSFER. Paperwork facilitates information transfer and your wishes. Orally, agreeing to something with someone may be meaningless to another. Remember the one CARDINAL PRINCIPAL – In the medical setting, THE DOCTOR TRUMPS EVERYONE. Don’t be afraid to say, “The doctor has agreed to ….” Obviously, be sure that your statement is true. 3. Be prepared to do something to make everyone’s job easier. For the colonoscopy with boxers I altered the boxer shorts that I wore backwards. (The front fly on the boxers didn’t seem suitable for the procedure. The fly stopped too high and would not expose the necessary area. I had to carefully undo the bottom fly stitching and about three inches of the seam below. I then seamed that new opening, effectively lengthening the fly – a great fit. Fit your shorts to your body in a slight fetal position and adjust accordingly.) 4. You may have to ask individuals to slow down and to explain things to you more fully. They are often in a rush to stay on schedule. 5. Thank everyone the next day with cookies, a McDonald’s gift card or chocolates. Attach a card indicating your thankfulness for their compassion and flexibility. Sign your name and below it write “yesterday’s colonoscopy, no-sedation guy (or gal) with the blue backward boxers”. This may make them smile and remember you with good thoughts. With this last step you will help yourself and many others in the future. Everyone likes to be rewarded for his/her efforts. (Although the male techs did little during the procedure since I could move myself when directed, I still rewarded them.) Furthermore, this makes a lasting impression on the doctors. Contact the hospital administrator and let him/her know of the fine people, doctors, etc. that you encountered at the facility. Finally, don’t forget to get something for your referring GP. The next time you need a referral to a specialist, your GP is your best friend. An encouraging word from him/her to other doctors will open doors and, hopefully, allow you to have a subsequent, happy medical experience. Eventually, the entire medical community may see things more modestly (Or may “unsee” more things). The above might sound a bit mercenary however, it’s really just good business and golden sense – i.e., doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. May God bless you with good health and much success with the medical community. Reginald

- Reginald (Male Patient) From Orange, CA
Date Submitted: 7/20/2016

 


Finding a male tech to do a male related ultrasound is extremely hard. I was about to make the same mistake twice & set it up knowing I`d be destroyed again by the female tech. Day before I was to go, I found your website. This website confirmed what I have been feeling but didn`t think it was really true about the unethical way the healthcare industry as a whole treats male patients. I called that afternoon and cancelled the appointment. They asked why & I told them this is a male related procedure and should only be done by a male unless he requests a female. They didn`t like my answer. They said a women is capable of doing the test. I told her female qualifications has nothing to do with it. I said I`m a male & I want a male to run the test. They asked what was I afraid of. I said nothing, thanked them for their time & hung up the phone. This website has put the issue of male patient modesty out there. Now, pressure needs to be placed on the healthcare industry to acknowledge there is a problem and be made to deal with it. Way back when, women wanted equal rights and they got them. Men want equal consideration when it comes to patient modesty issues now. It`s time to acknowledge that an inequality exists & fix it. Many men don`t get the care they need because of the way they are treated. Ladies, if you lose a mate, son, or nephew earlier then normal, don`t blame them, blame the healthcare industry for NOT doing their job and addressing and fixing this issue. Thank goodness I found this wonderful website. You have empowered me and I won`t forget it.

- Raffie (Male Patient) From Patient on the East Coast
Date Submitted: 2/19/2016

 


I am a sexual assault survivor of countless attacks, starting from when I was 9 from a male doctor which was only followed by more from other men. I can’t remember how many attacks I’ve survived, there’s too many to count. I thought I would find a more compassionate journey when I successfully got pregnant with a wonderful man that has helped me cope through the post-traumatic scars of my life. I was wrong when I began to call around to find prenatal care. After asking to see a lady doctor, I was told that wasn’t possible. Even when telling them, I had clinical PTSD making my need a special disability need, I was told “You’re on Medicaid and don’t have many options.” As though I was supposed to be grateful for anything I got, even if it was reliving the trauma of past nightmares during what should be the happiest moment of my adult life. I told her “I have options, I’ll squat down and have the baby at home!” and hung up.

I was recommended to a midwife by a friend after this, however Medicaid doesn’t cover home births. When I went to my first ultrasound at the local hospital and saw the portraits of the Ob/Gyn doctors they had on staff, I saw there were four, two women, and two men. When I went to hear the results of my ultrasound, I asked the midwife if it were possible to have a female doctor be called in if an emergency occurred and was told that she would not honor my request. After getting a letter from my psychologist, I returned and had another talk with them. The women were beginning to get rude about the subject and still refused to honor my wish even with a note stating my disability and my special needs. My level of care even changed as they treated me rudely.

I continued to lay pressure on the hospital where I was receiving prenatal care and went to the patient advocate for the hospital. After hearing my story he faked concern and said he’d fix things and get back to me. I told the man he had 3 weeks as I intended to get an abortion if I couldn’t find a resolution. The solutions he had for me was to either schedule an unnecessary surgery (C-section) on a day a female doctor was available, the next option offered was to give me sedatives if the Ob/Gyn had to be called in and was male (While my unborn was still inside me to feel it), the last option was to have a female chaperone. The last option was utterly ridiculous because if my own mother wouldn’t believe the truth about her son having psychological sexual issues and the behavior that came with it, why should I trust some strange woman who is the doctor’s co-worker and possibly his friend? It also doesn’t change the fact that a man is getting too close to my lady parts. It sounded a bit extreme versus just talking to the female staff to see if they’d volunteer, but his reasoning behind all of this was that they needed to look out for hospital and staff convenience, and they can’t make an exception and change to accommodate me when so many other women make the same request. Going through this was the same feeling I had whenever I was attacked, forced, scared, and helpless.

I went on a desperate search all over the internet looking for a lawyer, another birth place, and anything else that could or would help me. I lost much sleep during this time, only falling asleep in my chair where every time I slept I was plagued with nightmares. Sleep deprived and lost from hope, I stumbled upon Medical Patient Modesty’s web site. In a half awake blunder I managed to punch out an e-mail pleading for help with my situation that the net offered no answers to. I finally fell off to sleep for the first time in a few days with not more than a prayer for response. The next day a response came, much to my surprise, I was impressed how fast the email came. Misty, the president / founder of MPM was very kind and understanding to my story, something I had only received from my boyfriend (and now child’s father) till now. Even my family felt I was being ridiculous over the situation. Misty was kind and validating of how I felt after so many doctors and nurses had made me feel stupid, or ashamed over my pain and fears. She gently encouraged me not to give up and suggested some places I could go in the next county over that may take Medicaid. I located a midwifery practice that delivered at a hospital supporting an all-female Ob/Gyn practice 45 minutes away. The hospital themselves didn’t take Medicaid but since the midwifery practice did, and they delivered there, I’d be seen there in case of an emergency during labor and birth.

I am glad I switched to another hospital even though the drive was farther. The hospital worked to accommodate my wishes for an all-female medical team. They even went as far as not allowing the staff to bring food to my room to enter if they were male, instead my nurse or doula would intercept it outside and bring it in. If a medical facility / hospital cannot honor your wishes, take your business somewhere else even if it means driving farther.

I never knew such a tiny, helpless, human being with just one cry could bless me with such a deep sense of self-worth. My baby girl is now 6 months old, and I have been told (and feel) my confidence and self-esteem growing with leaps and bounds. I'm forever grateful for my little one and the man who not only helped create her but treated me like a queen the whole 9 months of carrying her. Our family is also full of gratitude, and respect for Misty's kindness and the work she does for others in our situation.

- Katherine (Female Patient) From Colorado
Date Submitted: 1/8/2015

 


This organization is addressing concerns that no one else is addressing. I am glad to know I am not the only one who cares about this. Medical Patient Modesty encourages everyone to stand up for their basic human rights. This encouragement is very important to me.

- Bob (Male Patient) From Texas
Date Submitted: 10/21/2014

 


I recently decided to have a colonoscopy.....whether or not I believe they are necessary for everyone over 50 is another subject, but none the less, I decided to get one - if I could get it on my terms. I had read many horror stories about patients being completely exposed during the procedure while they were under, people walking in and out of the exam room, both men and women. I asked my doctor for a recommendation and he gave me the name of the doctor who did his procedure. I made an appointment for a consultation and went in.

During the consultation I told the doctor that I had a few accommodation requests. First, I wanted an all male team. He agreed. He normally uses two assistants but only one is male so he would do the procedure with only one, male, assistant. I also wanted to be awake during the procedure. I did not want to be put under. He agreed. and finally, I wanted to be able to wear boxers or some other short to protect my modesty, I had read about colonoscopy shorts here on Medical Patient Modesty’s colonoscopy article and mentioned them....he had never heard of them but he said he was certainly willing to use whatever as long as I was willing to have the boxers cut if necessary.

After our consultation I scheduled the procedure. At the same time, I called the clinic where the procedure was going to be performed and spoke with the head nurse. She was wonderful! I told her about my conversation with the physician and my requests. She told me they did not have colonoscopy shorts but that she would make sure they had them before my procedure. In addition, she made sure that she would schedule the one male tech on the day of my procedure.

I arrived at the clinic at the day of the procedure and found that all of my requests had been met. During the admission procedure I added several clauses to the Consent and had the doctor initial them as well as sign the consent. First, I added that the procedure must be stopped immediately if it could not be done without sedation. In addition, I deleted the section about MAC, it means they can put you to sleep. I also added a section that no one was allowed in the room during the procedure other than the male team I had agreed to and that my colonoscopy shorts were not allowed to be removed for any reason.

They accepted all of my changes, the procedure went fine, and I felt comfortable in the fact that the team was interested in making sure I was completely comfortable from all aspects, including modesty...in fact, it was actually fun to watch, it was not painful at all for me and I have to admit I was a little disappointed when it was over, it was so fascinating to watch!

I would not have known to ask for these accommodations without Medical Patient Modesty’s web site...I got the information about the language to add to the consent and the knowledge of what was out there from here.

If you are concerned about getting this procedure or any procedure because of modesty issues, talk to the doctor who is going to perform the procedure. if he or she won`t agree to the requests walk out find another doctor, one who will agree to your demands...they are out there. Don`t think you are weak because you are concerned about your modesty, you are not...As someone said, WE are the customers here, WE are paying them and they are providing a service to us! WE have the right to say what will happen to our bodies, and WE get to say who provides services to us and if you are a male and want a male tech you have that right to request and get a male tech.

- James (Male Patient) From New York
Date Submitted: 9/15/2013

 

 


 

   
         
   

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